Wednesday night I had the best night of sleep I've had since before I was married. Why? Because my love curled up into me and let me spoon her/cuddle with her while we slept. We used to do that in college, but since we've been married -- she always says she is too hot, or it hurts her back, but I LOVE holding her all night. I feel like she is finally starting to love me and give me the affection that I have always felt for her. It was a great night. We made love and I held her all night. A dream that I've had for a long time and haven't done in a long long time.
She has made a lot of real improvements. The house is still great, she is doing better with the kids, she is WAY into me (which I love), and is making great efforts.
The problem is still in her natural reactions, which are guarded and shielded. For years, I tried to explain to her that her first reaction was "no" and then she would calm down, think and say maybe or yes. . . but it was always an immediate no. Now she is better with that. Similarly, her reactions are disrespectful. She treats me with respect and adoration, but only part time and almost like it is only when she is turned on or playing the game. We need to get this past a game and into a long lasting lifestyle. Of course it has been less than a week and she is trying.
I stayed home from work today and it was GREAT while she was home. We had really good sex. I was playing piano and she came to listen and sit with me. We kissed a long time and then I couldn't take it anymore so i took her into the bathroom and picked her up on the counter. Eventually we ended up on the couch in the family room. It was fun and neat for us to be SOOOO into each other.
I really hope this lasts.
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